“I finally found something that works for you…the look on your face was priceless,” my priest said this afternoon.
The outpouring of support, encouragement, and Holy Spirit inspired suggestions was really touching after I rambled on about my poor prayer life a few weeks ago. One faithful reader (or two or three) reminded me of the importance of sticking close to the sacraments, particularly the Sacrament of Confession.
It was really important to me to make it a priority to get to Confession, partly as a show of good faith that I’m really trying to get my prayer life in order, partly because I needed, I craved that grace of absolution, and mostly because my soul was struggling under the weight of poor priorities.
When I confessed that my priorities were out of whack, that I was too often putting my work writing before my prayer time, and that the lack of sleep was trickling down to negatively affect my parenting, I knew it was going to be a tough penance.
Father, as is his personality, made sure I had my semantics correct first.
It’s not about priorities, it’s about balance. (Ironic, I thought, considering the tagline of Kitchen Stewardship.)
We don’t need to talk about putting God first, because that sets up tensions between first, second, third priorities. We need to say we want God in the center of everything.
When you’re parenting, God should be in the center. When you’re wife-ing, God should be in the center. When you’re blogging, God should be at the center. (For real, the priest said “wife-ing.”)
If you’re getting distracted at Mass because you’re thinking about blogging, is that a sin or a moment of grace? Perhaps it’s a chance to help you refocus your writing on God.
Rather than trying to put God first, by way of subjugating everything else, what you need is to get God in the center of all that you do. You need to get balanced.
And then he went in for the kill: Father asked me what I would do as a parent if one of my kids came to me and said they were being ruled by their computer.
I’m sure the look on my face was priceless, as I became afraid he would tell me I had to stay off the computer for a week! (I’m a terribly strict momma sometimes.)
My penance is to set limits (hard for me – self-discipline is my greatest weakness!). When I sit down to work, I have to set a timer. When that timer beeps, no matter what I’m doing, I stop. He told me I have to just trust God that whatever needed to get done, was done, and I’ll be able to figure out where I left off when I next come back to work.
This is my excuse and explanation if I don’t return your email, have a day without a blog post, or publish an unfinis
Just kidding. I really may have to publish an almost-finished post in the next few weeks as I learn to manage my time better.
Ironically, but likely NOT coincidentally, I have an ebook on time management in my files from Amy Andrews, a lovely daughter of God who has some pretty awesome ideas on how to prioritize (although she and Father might have a discussion about first/second/third and “center”).
It’s the first ebook I’ve even been tempted to print out in its entirety, but then I just read the whole thing so I don’t have to. I did print out the three worksheets at the back, and I’ll see what I can do to determine my “roles and goals” and fill in “the grid” of priorities, then the schedule. You might want to check it out HERE.
Father also said that I’m allowed to be mad at him when the timer beeps, not myself, or God, or anyone around me.
Wise man.
Make a good parent.
The grace of confession is a great thing.
Thanks for listening.
My time is up! (Here’s hoping Leah wakes me early enough to write about “no ‘poo” tomorrow morning, because I didn’t prioritize very well tonight!)
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Kitchen Stewardship is dedicated to balancing God’s gifts of time, health, earth and money. If you feel called to such a mission, read more at Mission, Method, and Mary and Martha Moments.
Disclosure: I will make a bit if you buy Amy’s book – thanks! See my full disclosure statement here.
What great advice! That’s what it’s all about: living our lives to glorify God – keeping Him in the center is such a great viewpoint. Instead of being outside of what we’re doing, it shows where He really is: with us, day in, day out!
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Thank you for this post, this was just what I needed to hear today.
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What a beautiful post, Katie! I’ve been facing similar issues myself and thought of you last night while watching a DVR-ed Father Corapi (I know, huge nerd). He was saying that prayer was the answer to everything and should be the most important thing in our life with the Lord. He said, if you have a hard time praying purposefully, pray to God to help find purpose! If you’re having difficulty persevering with prayer, pray for perseverance! Pray for patience. Grace. Time. Patience. (Did I say that already?
It really hit home . . .
Now that we’re doing preschool and gymnastics this month (for the first time) I’m feeling pulled in so many directions I’m having a hard time focusing too . . . my thoughts are on what time I have to be where, what snacks to bring, is it cold enough for a coat, or will a vest suffice? Do I need the stroller? Where are the shoes? That it is just so hard to find time for MYSELF and God in all of that. I need to set aside time for ME to be with God. And though I recognize this, I still struggle figuring out when and where.
I’ve been thinking about getting a copy of the Divine Hours for myself for Christmas (I’ve asked for it for two years without anyone buying it for me. I’m just going to have to do it myself!) . . . have you ever done that?
Let’s chat sometime soon, my friend!
Best,
Sarah
PS – Your priest is a wise man, I’m benefiting from his shared advice through you!
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Katie Reply:
November 18th, 2010 at 10:48 pm
Sarah my dear,
Katie
You are right on many accounts! patience…I need more! A chat would be great!
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I love it! I’m also working on re-prioritizing right now, as well as becoming more disciplined. Though those really go hand-in-hand, right? On my list: more prayer/study/Bible reading time, more quality time sharing the faith with my kids, and becoming a better housekeeper. I manage to make good meals, keep the laundry moving, and get us where we need to be, but the house just seems to fall apart around me. I HATE not inviting friends over because the house is a mess. I’ve finally realized it really is a problem and I need to become more disciplined.
Oh, and it sounds like you have a great priest! I love it when I get good advice/counseling along with reconciliation! Even if it’s a hard pill to swallow!
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Katie, what a lovely post; I do believe you did indeed get your priorities right.
I’ve been really making an effort to do just a few moments of prayer morning and evening. I got an iPad app for the Anglican Daily Office, and it’s working for me as a beginning point. It is like the Roman Catholic Divine Office, but a bit more streamlined (and cheaper than buying the Divine Office books!) A couple opening lines, a Psalm, a Glory Be, some Benedictions, another Glory Be, prayers for the world and selves, the collect which is a very short prayer, an Our Father, a closing prayer. Not too long, so I do make the time to actually read it.
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Wow, great post. Thank you for sharing this so openly. Below is what I recently wrote – but I think you’ve hit on what I needed to feel the inner peace I’ve been seeking regarding our schedule and my going back to work part-time when my health/life wasn’t quite ready. The other aspect was for me to accept that this is my life right now and no whining or tantrums will change it (I’ve tried and it only makes me look silly – doesn’t work). Not that I even want to change it – I’m just being a baby; life is good! This last week, even with physical backslides and the same chaos I’ve been able to feel a difference. God as the center. Tell your priest thanks from me for his words of wisdom! Now, where did that timer go? It was next to the computer a minute ago….
“Embracing the Chaos:
As I yearn for normalcy and seek out a normal schedule at home to get things done (housework, order, planning, work, schoolwork, meal prep, etc) I find that I am breeding discontent in myself through my frustrations (sigh). I am constantly anxious and stressed with the burden that our schedule has put upon me while grateful for those very things at the same time. I am now seeking to TRULY be grateful and PEACEFUL for those blessings. In other words, I am now trying to truly… embrace the chaos.”
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Thanks for this post! I may not be Catholic, but I totally feel you on this subject. With the wonderful chaos of life (esp. life with kids!) it’s so easy to get un-centered on God (de-centered?). There are so many good things in our lives, but they can become traps, too (hmmm, I need to find a timer to be by my computer. researching CD for a newborn and natural living for the rest of us can throw everything off, without moderation!). I, too, need to work on developing that personal relationship through prayer. Thanks for the gentle reminder that these posts have been, and for the ideas from your priest on how to refocus! (hmmm, and maybe that timer will be my reminder to pray–take the time for my research but ensure after each session that I give Him His time!). Thx!!
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This computer/internet/blog obsession is something I’m dealing with myself at the moment. Setting limits is definitely necessary for me, but it’s hard, so much of our way of life seems to have been taken over by computers.
Your priest’s point about being God-centered is really really helpful…as God is in all things…this just makes perfect sense to me…sorry, I’m having a duh! moment, lol.
I always feel better after going to confession, but I always struggle to get myself to go;-)
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It’s hard to say “no”. | The Be 30 Project // Nov 12, 2010 at 12:39 pm
[...] they deserve while still having a life! I still need me time and down time. I was inspired by Katie’s post on using a timer, but sometimes it’s just not that [...]
Weekend Wanderings // Nov 13, 2010 at 12:06 pm
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Entertaining! God has been teaching me some hard things lately too. I’ve had some very excellent moments and some very awful ones, but I can see He is using all of them to lead me towards something. It’s going to be hard for me. It’s going against my nature. But God teaches us things only for our good, and His glory.
Your priest sounds great!
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