Woman’s Call to Vocation: Sacrifice

As women, we are called to many things. We are called to be wives to our husbands, mothers to our children, makers of the home and providers of nourishing food for all of them. As with any call, the woman’s call cannot be without sacrifice.

Please read the following reflection, written by Jenny Bales at Heart of a Mother (heartofamother.blogspot.com):

My attention was focused on the stems of wheat in the etched glass in the Adoration chapel. I recalled that wheat symbolizes bread, more specifically here, the Bread of Life. At that time, I more appropriately directed my eyes to the Eucharist before me, acknowledging that He is truly present and alive in the Bread of Life. Last summer I was given a fleeting but vivid moment of grace where for the first time ever I truly understood and believed that in what I saw as the host truly was Jesus, not merely His body and blood, but His living, breathing flesh.

Reflecting on the Bread of Life brought to mind simultaneously the loaves and fishes Jesus fed to the crowds, the Last Supper, and the Mass. In each instance, the bread is always broken and distributed to all. The nugget then came — We are each called to be broken like this bread, broken to bits, and distributed to those around us. This was quite a shocking thought, because my blunt mind actually pictured my flesh being torn apart. But of course, this is more of a spiritual reality than anything else.

Have we all not said (or screamed) – I feel pulled in a million directions? As mothers, especially, we have so many demands on us that it can feel overwhelming and frustrating. We give to our husbands, our children, our parents, our siblings, our neighbors, our friends, our co-workers, our parish, our ministries, and it goes on and on. The reality is, though, that this is part of our vocation as mothers. We must give of ourselves bit by bit until we think there is nothing left. Then, God will multiply our efforts and supply us with endless bits of Himself to give to others.

We must die to ourselves and be ready to shed every last drop of blood to give to others. This is how we love. This is also how God loves us. He wants us to hold nothing back, deplete everything we have, so we will rely exclusively on Him. When we feel pulled every which way, all we have to do is turn to Him in true surrender, and He alone will energize us and fill us to overflowing once again.

Thank you, Jesus, for loving us so much. It is too much. We surrender everything to you and your Blessed Mother. May everything we give be a portion of you and not merely a part of us.

1. Share your reactions to this reflection.

Work at home is great responsibility, sacrifice

“The family is a divine institution that stands at the foundation of life of the human person as the prototype of every social order.” (Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church, no. 211)  Therefore the woman, as keeper of the home, is truly like the CEO of a corporation, or at the very least the VP of Operations. Mothers have a serious responsibility to raise children to be saints. Our vocation is not to be taken lightly. It is also not without challenge and sacrifice. Women who work at home are asked to “give up” an outside career and the possibilities for praise and accolades that come with it, they may be asked to “give up” their college education and even their interaction with other adults to some extent. Our culture doesn’t exactly champion the role of homemakers, as Pope John Paul II states:

In living out their mission, these heroic women do not always find support in the world around them. On the contrary, the cultural models frequently promoted and broadcast by the media do not encourage motherhood. In the name of progress and modernity the values of fidelity, chastity, sacrifice to which a host of Christian wives and mothers have borne and continue to bear outstanding witness, are presented as obsolete. (Evangelium Vitae)

And again:

It is a disservice not only to children but also to women and society itself when a woman is made to feel guilty for wanting to remain in the home and nurture and care for her children. It is also necessary to counter the misconception that the role of motherhood is oppressive to women and that a commitment to her family, particularly to her children, prevents a woman from reaching personal fulfillment and from having an influence in society. No response to women’s issues can ignore a woman’s role in the family or take lightly the fact that every new life is entrusted to the protection and care o the woman carrying it in the womb.

2. What is your personal temptation as you consider the “sacrifice” of staying home with your children?

3. How can you practically live out your mission to be a witness to fidelity, chastity and sacrifice for your children?

Finally, in his letter on “The Vocation and Mission of the Lay Faithful in the Church and in the World” (1988), John Paul II emphasizes the original call of Genesis 2:18:

“It is not good for man to be alone:  let us make him a helper fit for him.”  God entrusted the human being to woman. Certainly, every human being is entrusted to each and every other human being, but in a special way the human being is entrusted to woman, precisely because the woman in virtue of her special experience of motherhood is seen to have a specific sensitivity toward the human person and all that constitutes the individual’s true welfare, beginning with the fundamental value of life. How great are the possibilities and responsibilities of woman in this area at a time when the development of science and technology is not always inspired and measured by true wisdom, with the inevitable risk of “dehumanizing” human life, above all when it would demand a more intense love and a more generous acceptance.

4. What can you do specifically to respond to the call to demonstrate “intense love” and “generous acceptance” of human life?

Being a woman

While every human being is specifically entrusted to woman, Mulieris Dignitatem (On the Dignity of Women) also teaches that man and woman “were entrusted to each other as persons…to become a sincere gift to one another.” Men and women are different, yet complementary. In our bodies, in our psyches, and in our faculties, we cannot deny that God created two very different beings. It is in this conception of relationship as “gift” that we find part of women’s “essential richness” (MD no. 10) and perhaps the most striking quality of woman:  our ability to receive.

“To be able to receive is a special grace. So many can give – can give everything, but can never function in the opposite facet of true love – to be able to receive.”  (Rev. Jude Mead, CP)

Mary’s fiat (“Let it be done unto me according to your word.” Luke 1:38) is the ultimate example of receiving the grace of God and being open to His will. May she be our model of femininity, openness, humility, tenacity and reflectivity.

5. How do you and your husband complement each other?

6. What would you like to learn from Our Lady in the areas of femininity, openness, humility, tenacity and reflectivity?

To love is to sacrifice

Mothers are clearly called to love – their husbands, their children, their God. Love is not an easy choice. Love can be painful. Blessed Teresa of Calcutta said, “A living love hurts. Jesus, to prove his live for us, died on the Cross. The mother, to give life to her child, has to suffer. If you really love one another properly, there must be sacrifice.” And also, “Love begins at home.”

7. What are the daily sacrifices you choose to make because you are a wife and mother?

8. How do they demonstrate your capacity to LOVE?

It is a choice, a choice to love and accept all the suffering that comes with it. But certainly it is not a choice without reward:

“If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” (Luke 9:23f)

“Would that men might come at last to see that it is quite impossible to reach the thicket of the riches and wisdom of God except by first entering the thicket of much suffering, in such a way that the soul finds there its consolation and desire. The soul that longs for divine wisdom chooses first, and in truth, to enter the thicket of the Cross.”  (St. John of the Cross)

9. What suffering do you find in your “thicket of the Cross”?

We must learn to offer up our daily duty

So what are we to do with all these sufferings? We must believe that God can use our sufferings and sacrifices as a prayer. He can use our small afflictions to sanctify not only our own souls, but souls around the world. A mother’s little prayers as she does laundry, cooks meals, changes diapers, shuttles children, and, and, and…can effect change for good, souls for God, far beyond the reaches of our homes.

“My son, when you come to serve the LORD, prepare yourself for trials. Be sincere of heart and steadfast, undisturbed in time of adversity. Cling to him, forsake him not; thus will your future be great. Accept whatever befalls you, in crushing misfortune be patient;  For in fire gold is tested, and worthy men in the crucible of humiliation. Trust God and he will help you; make straight your ways and hope in him.”  (Sirach 2:1-6)

10. How do you “prepare yourself for trials” as a mother?

“Little sacrifices, heartaches, or pain patiently carried can become redemptive. When offered up to God, these sufferings ultimately will be used as a means to our salvation and our family’s salvation.”  (The Heart of Motherhood by Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle)  Redemptive. God is saying that He can SAVE people, namely our family, from sin and death if only we offer up our daily duty and its inherent sacrifices.

11. What worth do our sufferings and sacrifices have if we do not offer them up to God?

“Observe that we gain more in a single day by trials which come to us from God and our neighbor than we would in ten years by penances and other exercises which we take up of ourselves.”  (St. Teresa of Avila)  We don’t always have to go looking for something to “offer up.”  We just need to make sure we go through our day with joy and acceptance. We can offer them up for our children and husbands, of course, but also single mothers, those who have trouble accepting being at home, those without the emotional support of their husband, parents with sick children, those who have lost a child.

12. How can we remember to offer up the trials that come to us and not just get frustrated by them?

Remaining close to our Father

Suffering can be good. But not all suffering is worthwhile. In Deus Caritas Est, Pope Benedict XVI tells us that “Often the deepest cause of suffering is the very absence of God.” As mothers, it can feel as though God is very far away as we rush through our days.

13. What must we do to avoid THIS kind of suffering while we embrace proper suffering for Christ?

God showed how much He loves US by giving up His only Son to death. We hear this so much, I think we become almost immune to it. John 3:16 has been demoted to being just a sign at a sporting event. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him might not perish but might have eternal life.”  I often think about Jesus’s sacrifice, and even about Mary having to endure watching her Son die on the Cross, but I seldom meditate on the Father’s sacrifice. It was His plan, after all.

How many of us, in our prayers, pray for health for our children? Pray that they might be successful, intelligent, and yes, faithful to the utmost? How many of us offer our children to God and tell Him that we would accept even sickness or death for them? We might…I know some people are strong enough to do this…but which of us doesn’t add the caveat:  “But Lord, if something has to happen, let it be me instead.”  Which of us, when a child is sick, doesn’t ask God to give the illness to us if only we can take it away from them? This is a mother’s sacrifice, that she would willingly, in fact would almost insist upon, taking her child’s pain. How much more does God love us, that He not only didn’t include the caveat, but that He actually PLANNED His Son’s death for our gain?

Thank you, Lord, for loving me so much. Teach me to accept and offer up the sacrifices of my daily duty and choose to love as you loved so as to participate in my family’s redemption.

Prayer to Obtain the Grace of Heaven
From “A Mother’s Book of Prayer”
Leaflet Missal Company, St. Paul, MN

Lord, You called the prophets and inspired saints throughout the ages to choose heroic acts of self-denial and even martyrdom for the sake of Your Name. Move my heart to desire things that will lead me to heaven. Call me to Your purpose, claim me for Your kingdom, use me for Your glory. I desire to please You in all things, to keep the Commandments, embrace the beatitudes, follow in the footsteps of Jesus. As a deer longs for running streams, so my soul longs for You, O God. Grant me the grace to remain with You, to praise You with the angels, to behold Your Face, and never, ever be parted from You. Amen.

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