Positive Parenting Solutions Review | Skill Building for Parents

I first heard about Positive Parenting Solutions in an email PS from Katie. 

So I watched the webinar and was hooked. 

We all want to do better than our parents did. 

As we reflect on our childhoods, we all have things we want to do differently. I don’t want to be a frazzled mom. 

But in the heat of the moment, when our kids exhibit difficult behaviors, losing control is easy. We fall back on our instincts and how we were raised, whether that’s yelling or nagging. 

If you want to improve upon how your parents raised you, it’s important to add tools to your tool belt, so you can access them at any time. 

That’s exactly what Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions course did for me. 

Amy’s explanations about what buckets kids need filled, and how to help set expectations really resonated with me. 

We’ve been using these principles since we had our first. 

I really appreciate that the program is flexible and it acknowledges that each child is different. There’s not one right way to parent. There’s multiple avenues to parenting well. 

But at the same time, I think Amy has really boiled it down to some of the things that matter the most and how you can adapt them to your own family’s needs. 

Today, I want to share with you the two most insightful concepts I’ve learned from her and have been putting into practice for a few years now. They’ve helped us maintain a home that’s calm and peaceful. 

First, let’s look at her buckets. 

Positive Parenting Solutions Buckets 

The main foundation of Amy’s parenting philosophy is that all kids have two buckets that need to be filled.

And if one of these buckets hasn’t been filled, this is when kids tend to act out with misbehaviors. 

Most of us naturally have a tendency or a preference to fill one over the other, but you can learn how to compensate for that. 

Let’s look at the first bucket. 

Bucket of Control 

The first bucket Amy describes in her Positive Parenting Solutions course is your child’s need for control. She describes it like a bucket that needs to be filled every day. 

All kids need to have a sense of autonomy and willpower about their lives.

The key to this is giving your kid age appropriate choices within the limits that you want to set. For us, this has really reduced power struggles. 

So with a toddler, when you want them to pick up their toys, you give them two choices about what they want to pick up next. Do you wanna pick up your truck next or do you want to put the balls away?

It’s time to get dressed, do you wanna change your pajama top first or do you want to put on your bottoms first?

In both of the examples above, there’s a set boundary, like picking up or changing clothes. But you give your child the choice of what they do first or what they pick out.

As our kids have gotten up to elementary age, we create what our family calls an emoji to do list for the day. This wasn’t a particular suggestion from the course but it’s how we adapted it for our family. 

This started during the preschool years before they could read – hence the emoji symbols. Our kids wanted to know what was next. And when they knew what the day held, and felt a sense of control over picking what would happen, they were much more likely to follow through without complaining. 

Here is a sample of our routine: 

Emoji To Do List  🌺 

🩲pull up off

🥣breakfast  

🐩feed dog 

🎒pack for preschool 

🛑pick up 

🟪play 

🛑pick up

🍌lunch 

🚙drive 

🏫preschool

Within our routine, like the one listed above, whenever possible, we give the choice between two things, “do you want to feed the dog or do you want to pack for school next? 

It’s part of setting up expectations and natural consequences. We’ll look at consequences later. But next, let’s look at the second bucket that Amy has for her Positive Parenting Solutions.

The Attention Bucket 

The second, and equally important bucket, that Amy preaches in her Positive Parenting Solutions course is filling our children’s attention buckets with love.

The way she describes this is giving our kids 10 minutes of our undivided attention, doing an activity that they would like. 

Amy calls it mind body soul time. I’ve heard other parenting experts call it special time, but the idea is all the same. 

Note: This is to be done alone without a sibling also involved. 

It reminded me of the five love languages quality time description.

She suggests that in the mornings and or at bedtime, you give each child 10 minutes of your attention alone. You can set certain parameters like it’s not screen time together and it doesn’t spend any money.

We started setting up this time of undivided attention with our kids as soon as they started to crawl.

For me, it’s taking a little bit of planning to make sure that soon after my kids wake up, I can give them my undivided attention.

Sometimes my morning sauna routine or exercise gets interrupted and that’s okay.

We began with reading a board box or rolling a ball back-and-forth. Occasionally I get requests to sing songs. 

Currently, I most frequently end up playing a game of Uno moo. 

Having this routine of giving our kids undivided attention, soon after they wake up, helps them feel loved and wanted. This takeaway from the course has been something that’s made me a better parent. 

Amy suggests setting a timer so that the timer is the bad guy and not you for when the time ends. We’ve stretched this a little bit so that when the timer goes off we finish our game or finish the song so it’s not so abrupt in the middle. 

How the Buckets Have Worked for Our Family 

Overall, we have found that the practice of filling both of these buckets intentionally makes our parenting go a lot smoother. When we stick to it, our children’s behavior is better. 

In moments where I’m rushing, and I don’t give a lot of choices or delegate control to my kids, we have a lot more pushback. I have to be aware of my own need for control and let that go.

However, I’m more prone to not fill my kids’ attention bucket. 

In the mornings when I don’t prioritize mind, body and soul time, it’s obvious that our kids start to act out for attention. I’ve learned the hard way that I can either give them attention in a positive way or they’re going to seek attention in negative ways.

When I have overslept or don’t have 10 minutes to spare before heading out the door, I still try to chat with them while I get ready. When they’re really little this means asking them what colors they know in my closet and having them pick between two of my shirts that I should wear.

As they’ve gotten older, this means listening to them talk about soccer or other interests, while I’m working on things. While this doesn’t replace the mind body soul time, inviting them to join me as I get ready for my routine does help. 

Even though I don’t follow it perfectly, I’m still seeing great results. 

Now that we’ve covered the Positive Parenting Solution buckets, I want to share with you the next tool.

This one is all about setting up expectations for success. 

When, Then Statements 

My biggest take away from the Positive Parenting Solutions course has been using Amy’s “when, then” statements. If we want something done now, we use “as soon as, then.” Let me share some examples to explain what they are.

If your kid is anxious to start playing after a meal, you can set up the expectation of what they need to do before they play by saying something like:

“As soon as you put your dirty dishes in the sink, then you can go and play.”

In other words, set up the expectation of what your kids can do by telling them what they need to do before they can do what they want to do.

Another common one in our house is: 

“As soon as you brush your teeth and put on your pull up, then I will read to you.” 

Adapting this script to our family greatly reduced the bedtime battles. 

As our kids have gotten older, we’ve set time boundaries on things, so if they dilly dally, and they don’t obey right away, the clock runs out, and they might only get two books instead of three.

The key though, is motivating them with something that they want. It’s really taken away the opportunity for nagging. There’s no motivating them with guilt or shame. 

Another way that this plays out is that they know when certain privileges are earned.

I don’t use bribery or rewards like candy or screen time. But we do set up the expectation most days that: 

“As soon as you put all of your toys away, then you can watch your show.” 

And whenever they start the show, we set the expectation of how many episodes they have time for. This reduces the likelihood of a tantrum at the end.

Using the script of “when then” statements, or “as soon as, then” has really helped our family stay on track. We’ve avoided a lot of the chore wars because our kids know the expectations. Because our kids know the routines, we have less stress and less temper tantrums. 

Positive Parenting Solutions Review 

I encourage you to check out this free webinar by Amy from Positive Parenting Solutions. This is only scratching the surface of what I’ve gleaned from the course. 

As our kids grow and mature, we need all the help we can get with tools to set them up for success.

I found the free webinar so helpful that I enrolled in her course and then I read both of Amy’s parenting books.

The online course has the most support and applies her concepts to all the different childhood phases. 

Her 7-Step Parenting Success System really does work. The modules are short and easy to digest. It’s simple to navigate in a mobile app that you get lifetime access to. 

You start by taking a parent personality assessment. Then, you can watch the 7-step modules. 

There’s even a downloadable workbook and Facebook group. 

She covers many common issues for busy parents like entitlement, routines, birth order, backtalk, positive discipline, and more. 

In addition to the 7 steps, the has other resources for each life stage from toddlers to teens. 

I like to browse the lessons for whatever topic we are dealing with currently. Some of the highlights are: 

• Potty training
• Homework hassles 
• Divorce 
• Anxiety 
• Technology battles 
• Bedwetting 

I find myself setting one up to listen on the drive home from school pick up or while I’m making dinner. 

You’ll learn all of Amy’s positive parenting strategies to help you become a better parent. 

I know you’ll find something helpful for your family! 

Click here to check out the free positive parenting webinar.

What’s something that’s been game-changing in your parenting?

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