Best Starter Phones for Kids and Tweens: A Parent’s Guide to Safe First Phones

Do you know about the option of starter phones for teens and tweens? It is possible for you to find a phone with parental controls for kids!

I often feel like parents looking for the best first phone for their kids think that their only choice is no phone or iPhone. In reality, there is a great set of companies with beginner phones and watches that fill in that gap of first phones for teens, allowing parents greater control and filtering to safe content. Katie has talked a little bit about Troomi before as a safe option. Today I’m going to explore my journey with phones with parental controls for kids!

This year, I have an 11th, 9th, and 7th grader (as well as a younger daughter), so I get into a lot of conversations having to do with kid friendly smart phone options and technology with other parents. Maybe they think I am old and wise by now and have some answers. 😉 What I do have is a lot of experience, some regrets, and advice to give when it comes to cell phones and teens.

Why Giving Kids a Phone Too Early Was My Biggest Parenting Regret

When my oldest daughter was in fifth grade, the pandemic hit, quickly cutting her off from most of her friends. Without thinking too much about it, I bid on and won a very simple flip phone in a school auction. That way, I thought, she could keep in touch with friends and also have it for emergencies if she was home alone, since we don’t have a landline.

She was the first child, our first foray into middle school, and it felt like she might need a phone at school to get in touch with us.

When that phone broke within a few months, we decided to try a Gabb phone. I’m not sure where I heard about this option, but at the time, it only allowed her to send text messages, take pictures, and make calls. There was passable location tracking on it, which made me feel a little safer.

But by the end of sixth grade, she’d already had one major debacle centered around pictures and texting, leaving us all defeated and wary. But I couldn’t just leave her without a phone … right?

So we kept on with Gabb, and when Katie starting working with Troomi in late 2021, decided to try this new company. (I’m on the team here at Kitchen Stewardship^®/Kids Cook Real Food.) At the time, there were several options on Troomi that didn’t exist with Gabb – like kid-safe apps and a much better phone camera.

(Now, I think most of the options are the same, but we haven’t had a Gabb phone in use since 2022, so I can’t speak to their phones here. I know the Pinwheel Phone is another recommended option.)

We went ahead and got two phones, one for each of our oldest two children (13 and 11). Again, we were concerned with the lack of a landline and needing our second child to have a way to communicate if he were home alone.

My daughter, now a junior in high school, didn’t get a smart phone until she was in the spring of her freshman year. Our second, now a freshman, still uses a Troomi phone. Their little brother, a 7th grader?

He doesn’t have a phone, smartwatch, or iPad. Nor is it on the horizon.

I really regret giving my older children phones so early. Here’s what I have learned since then:

• If you have an Alexa device at home, it can make a call to a parent’s phone.
• Anywhere they go, there are adults or other kids with phones. Your kid can borrow one if they need to call you. They just need to know your number.
• Group chats and even leaving your phone laying around can be really sketchy.

Are Kids and Tweens Moving Away From Smartphones?

Recently my 12-year-old son, Joshua, asked if he could have a watch. We were heading on a cruise for vacation, and he knew he might be separated from us on the ship.

“A watch you can talk on?” I asked warily. “Like [your friend] has?”

“No,” he answered. “Just with the time on it.”

Friends, he just wanted a plain old digital watch. I gave a huge sigh of relief.

He’s told me often that he doesn’t need a phone because none of his friends have one either, so who would he talk to? A few of them have the smart watches that can communicate with a few people (mostly just parents). But they’ve figured out a system of using their school emails and just having parents call and text each other.

They still seem like little boys when they get together.

I’m so hopeful that in the wake of giving kids way, way too much technology too young, we are heading back in the other direction.

Why We Chose Troomi Phones for Our Kids

While it definitely has its issues here and there as any company does, we’ve been really happy with the safeguards we’ve been able to lay down with the Troomi phone. Here are my favorite features:

1. The three levels (Do, Dream, Discover) means you only pay for what your child uses on the phone. Not ready for group chats? Great, you can pick the Do starter plan. Maybe your child is ready for some apps and safe websites? The Discover Plan is what you want. And they’re all only $20-30 a month, plus you can change your plan as you reassess.
2. Insurance is simple to add. My son managed to crack his screen to the point of no return, just eking in under the 2-year window, and they replaced the phone without issue!
3. Two words: CONTENT FILTERING. More on this below.
4. Ability to add only the websites and apps I want my child to have. On the Discover plan, I could allow my son to have a full kid-safe web browser, but we’re still not ready for that. He can ask for access to certain web sites, though, and I can add them. We’re also able to okay any apps he needs for school, listening to music, or composing guitar tunes.
5. The GPS is pretty good – and helpful if a certain teenager leaves his phone somewhere strange.
6. I have the power. (Insert evil cackle here.) While it may not be popular with the teen crowd, I can see all the texts and pictures. You can even choose whether you have to approve contacts or not. The parental controls are really excellent.

Watch Katie’s review of Troomi vs. Gabb here!

Content Filtering on Kids’ Phones: Why It Matters

You probably know you should look through your child’s texts periodically to make sure there’s nothing inappropriate going on. But HOW? My kids get hundreds and thousands of texts a month. 

Troomi makes it simple for me. It scans for inappropriate content. Then it sends me a daily email with alerts and gives me the ability to look only at the flagged items on their parent portal.

Here’s one I found kind of funny but it’s a good example.

Obviously nothing really harmful is going on here. But you can tell it was flagged for the word “addict” and maybe also “filthy.”

As the parents, you can choose any words you always or never want to flag from the parent dashboard.

I feel like this gives me some definite advantages. One, I don’t have to scroll through thousands of messages. Two, it allows my son some modicum of privacy if I don’t look at unflagged messages. And three, my son informs his friends, “Hey, my mom can see all the messages here,” which might help keep them in check. 

Which brings me to my next general parenting adage:

Don’t Be Afraid to Be the Bad Guy 

My kids’ friends might think I am the meanest mom in the world.

I don’t let my 9th grader have a smart phone!

I look at his texts!

He can’t watch YouTube on his phone?

I didn’t let my daughter have any social media until she was 16 1/2? 

I don’t really care.

I’m doing what I think is best for my kids,  and I feel confident in it, so when my kids come and say, “But mom, everyone else has SnapChat!!” I can tell them, “That’s fine. My kids don’t. If you turn 18 and you still want it then, you can make that decision.”

I think one of the best things you can do for your kids is tell them they can blame everything on you. They don’t feel comfortable in a situation? “Oh, my mom is so mean, she won’t let me go!” 

So they’re welcome to complain about their lack of smartphones to friends and blame it all on mean parents. I’m fine with that.

When Kids Are Ready for a Smartphone: Our Family Rules

My 16-year-old daughter does have a smart phone. Over her middle school years, she proved to us that she could use the Internet responsibly and safely. But we definitely still have safety nets in place. I even switched from an Android to an iPhone so I could have the Apple Family abilities. 

Here are some things we have set up:

1. We still did no social media until she was well past 16 and I felt like she was emotionally mature enough to deal with it. It must be private. She will only allow people she knows to follow her.
2. She has screen time limits on Instagram and YouTube, which tend to be time sucks for her.
3. Her phone shuts off completely (no texts or calls) after 10:30 p.m. and until 7 a.m. We found some of her friends liked to text to the wee hours of the morning, and my girl needs her bedtime to stay sacred.
4. We also encourage her to read on a traditional Kindle instead of on the phone, since it is better for her eyesight. 

You’re Not Alone: Parenting Rules for Kids and Phones

Sometimes I feel like I am the ONLY parent out there who feels the need to have these sorts of rules regarding phones. If you’ve felt like that too, I hope you know it’s not true! 

It’s okay to draw some lines for your kids when it comes to phones and technology, both for the parents’ peace of mind and the good of your kids. While I don’t expect anyone to agree with all of mine, I hope it has you thinking about it!

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