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The Perfect Whole30 Valentine’s Day Date

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I never would have guessed my husband would choose to do a Whole30, especially near Valentine’s Day!

They say you can’t ever expect your spouse to change, and to avoid entering a marriage expecting that something will get better or that you’ll be able to “reform” your husband or wife to see things the way you see them.

It’s sound advice.

And often it’s true.

But clutter has a way of changing people. And 4 kids and 11 Christmases of grandparent gifts create a lot of clutter.

family Christmas Mass 2016

My 2017 husband, who is the same person as (but different than) the man I married, would now probably agree with the 1999 Katie who crushed his feelings on our first Valentine’s Day together.

At the time, it was kind of a brutal start to our 3-week-old dating relationship. He didn’t yet fully understand how deeply my bent for practical ran and got me a very traditional Valentine’s Day gift: flowers, a box of chocolates, and a teddy bear.

Poor guy.

I don’t remember what I said (he does though), but I know I wasn’t appreciative of the stuffed animal (“What am I going to do with this?”) or the boxed chocolates (“I only like chocolate without ‘stuff’ in it.”).

It was devastating for him because he was honestly trying so hard. And then I devastated him a second time when he discovered that bear in a give-away pile a few years later at my parents’ house. He thought I should treasure it.

And it’s that part that the new-and-improved husband – the one beaten down by masses of toys, books, games, puzzle pieces, and random detritus littering our house – would now agree with. He’d grab his 19-year-old self by the shoulders and say, “No way dude. No stuffed animals. You’ll have so much STUFF in your house in ten years! Don’t do it!”

Too many stuffed animals

This post is sponsored by MELT: Massage for Couples.

This new-and-improved husband has also taken a vested interest in his own health and eating habits. He says I’ve fully boiled him now, but he’s not complaining.

He’s now done two Whole30 plans on his own accord, and this month we’re both starting a crazy difficult gut healing diet.

It’s basically a Whole30 with more restrictions and additions to juggle, like lemon water in the morning, supplements, oil pulling and castor oil packs. We’re trying it with high hopes that my candida will finally fully subside, my weird cycles clear up, and his eczema disappear along with insurance for continued easy going with Crohn’s Disease.

The real reason he started looking into it, though, was because his weight has been shifting up just a little over the last few years, and he was incredibly frustrated that after a full 60 days of the Insanity workouts (they’re tough!) he lost zero pounds. 🙁 It’s time for a major gut reset! More to come on that as we work (suffer?) through it…

That means that since stuffed animals are clearly not happening, we pretty much have zero traditional Valentine’s Day options, since rich food, wine, and even great dark chocolate are all out.

Sure, I could make him heart-shaped eggs (and bacon, if I can source one without sugar), but no pancakes or syrup:

heart shaped eggs bacon and pancakes for Valentines Day

Weekday breakfasts are a little crazy-town though, and I’m not sure either of us cares enough for me to be messing with bacon next Tuesday.

We usually have a “date night” once a week where we tuck the kids in early with books and have an adult dinner by ourselves – but this time, no fun adult drinks. 🙁

How to make Valentine’s Day special when food just doesn’t work?

I know he won’t be bored if I pull out my non-food ace in the hole: a romantic massage certificate. We’ve had these MELT Massage Courses for a few years now, but they’re definitely not getting old yet. In fact, I think they’re the only online class I’ve bought that I’ve not only finished but gone back to over and over. My husband has even recommended them to friends (he’s really on board the whole “no clutter gift” thing now!).

It’s really all about quality time.

I know that THAT is what the man really wants – my time. Intimacy. An obligation-free evening to just be together.

neck massage

No laundry.

No working on the computer.

No bustling about the kitchen.

Who needs to fight the crowds for a Valentine’s Day dinner where you can’t eat 95% of the menu anyway because of a gut healing or Whole30 diet?

This date night, we’ll trade in the castor oil for a bottle of jojoba oil and the massage videos, and it will definitely be a special Valentine’s Day.

Melt facebook

If I’m really feeling plucky about the whole thing, I’ll probably have one of the plethora of teddy bears we now have in the house deliver the MELT coupon, for old time’s sake.

The masseur behind MELT: Massage for Couples is Denis Merkas, an Aussie bloke who is becoming one of my favorite people to email with. He’s got a light-hearted, carefree spirit about him with an undercurrent of mischief that comes through while he teaches the videos, too, and I just love it. They’re totally PG, by the way, something that, if the kids walked in on you, would only be slightly awkward, not a scarred-for-life situation. Winking smile

This Valentine’s Day, you get something I don’t even have – a free foot massage video with the series for $99! A very fancy dinner with a nice bottle of wine and a bouquet of flowers will run you that much anyway, and I’m willing to wager that your husbands would rather have your undivided attention on his neck and shoulders anyway.

YES! A massage class for Valentine’s Day sounds perfect!

Since our new diet also requires us to eat fat and protein within an hour after waking up (we were in a terrible habit of getting kids off to school, a 90-minute process, and THEN making breakfast for ourselves), perhaps I’ll still make bacon and eggs for the Valentine’s Day breakfast…with some sauteed greens lovingly placed on the side in a heart shape. 😉

What’s your best (or worst) Valentine’s Day story?

Pin it!

WHOLE30 Valentines Day Date Night
Unless otherwise credited, photos are owned by the author or used with a license from Canva or Deposit Photos.

14 thoughts on “The Perfect Whole30 Valentine’s Day Date”

  1. is the castor oil for deworming? My hubby and I were talking about getting joint massages! There is a truly amazing one in our area. I totally understand NFP timing, not going to happen on St. Valentines Day for us either????More time to court one another!

    1. Rebecca,
      The castor oil is external only, for liver health and detox I guess. I didn’t feel anything after doing it, but it was relaxing I suppose! Bravo for NFP courtship/honeymoons! We have to stick together and support one another, and good for you for the good attitude! 🙂 Katie

  2. Thanks for sharing. You and I seem to live parallel lives. My husband and I are planning to do a Lenten Whole30. I’m curious what your new diet is. I have the cycle issues, and my husband is gaining the weight despite more movement. We are about the same age as you. I don’t believe it’s “just approaching middle age and dealing with children.” 🙂

    1. I totally agree, Mary – it can’t just be normal! We’re doing Gut Thrive in 5 – more to come on how it’s going next week. It’s super intensive but there’s not much guesswork or DIYing our own health, which is a comfort:

      http://www.kitchenstewardship.com/gutthrive

      I hope you love the Whole30 (whole 40!!). My friends Emily and Antony have a Whole30 component to their amazing meal planning system if you feel you need a little help: http://www.kitchenstewardship.com/real-plans

      My husband just finished The Calorie Myth and I think it may be life-changing for us…he’s really buying it. I told him we’ll know if all this works if he’s still happy with his weight come June and July, because if not it’s just another unsustainable yo-yo diet!

      Hugs! 🙂 Katie

  3. Serena Kidder

    We did the Whole30 and then were paleo as a whole family while I was nursing( to try and help baby’s eczema ). As soon as she was weaned we all jumped back into grains. But just the other day, my husband,who still jokingly refers to our chiropractor as the witch doctor, said” Hey, can we eat more paleo again?” We’ve only been married 12 years;)

      1. Serena Kidder

        Sort of. She eats Paleo now, but it waxes and wanes. I even made some BeeSilkJr from a kit from MadeOn, which helps some, switched detergents. We followed our favorite osteopath when she joined a functional medicine group, we have to get back in for some followip testing.

    1. Nope, Nikki, no special equipment needed. You just sit up on a pillow (or floor/bed) and lean forward and the masseur sits on a pile of pillows – the only thing you might want otherwise is a bottle of oil that would work for massages, but that’s not expensive at all. 🙂 Katie

  4. My husband also has Crohn’s – back before he was diagnosed, we joke that I put him in the hospital by making him eat salad. I’m afraid there might be a little truth to it. I’m very impressed by Mr. KS committing to try a tough diet in the name of health. I hope it’s enlightening for you both, and I’d love to hear how it goes

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